My new favorite writer

Tony Zirkle is a lawyer running for Congress in Indiana. He's got a rhetorical style that-- well, it's hard to describe. Imagine Hunter Thompson on meth, trying to simultaneously channel Buckminster Fuller, Huey Long, and Jerry Falwell, with a little Unity Mitford-level Nazi-loving crazy thrown in for good measure:

What goes around, sometimes comes around, and sometimes a Zulu massacre comes right back in a dot com a few generations later to taunt a people in a new, more efficient destroying form of the same song, different dance hate speech. If addiction prone blanches can’t get their act together, then all of us who have a shred of justice in our spine may one day have to debate the idea of giving them what their ancestors gave to the natives, the author or whom is still honored with placement on the $20 bill…

If history can not produce one mono-syllabic tax cut king to stick his fluking harpoon between the porn Tiamat's oeilles, then perhaps history will one day send a homeless vet to attempt a confoundation of those incognoscenti who think they're wise. I'm starting to feel very strongly that a lot of very bad events are going to happen to me in the very near future for writing this.

The man in running for Congress. Give that a minute to sink in.

Could he even see the keyboard when he wrote that? I wish I could write with that kind of zest.

He also recently gave a speech to the American National Socialist Workers Party. According to the AP, he said "he did not know much about the group [emphasis added] and that 'I'll speak before any group that invites me.'"

Perhaps the fact that it was Hitler's birthday, and that the stage was decorated with a Nazi flag, large portrait of Adolf Hitler, and sparkly cardboard "Happy Birthday" draped across the podium could have provided the smallest of clues? Unless it was also Zirkle's birthday, in which case the confusion is understandable.

Man, I hope he gets elected.

[via Sadly, No]

[To the tune of Led Zeppelin, "The Battle of Evermore," from the album "Led Zeppelin (Disc 2)".]

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